Zim For Dummies #2

                                                            Zim For Dummies #2

 

 

                                         

 

                                        “The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself.”
                                                                                                             Carl Rogers

One of my core values comes through when I first make contact with a person, this is the value of relationship. Because people reach out to me for help I must be available energetically from the first few seconds of contact. Getting to know me is to know that a great deal of my work is in the relational arena, like Carl Rogers, I have found the apex as well as the foundation of therapeutic work is at the relational level. But this is not restricted to therapeutic relationships, this is true in ALL relationships.

This extends into any field of science, because in the 20^th century, science moved from an orientation of reality composed of objects that moved in predictable paths and outcomes, to reality being composed not of things, but of relationships, fields, and forces.

Most of human life is lived in some contextual relationship. When we were first conceived, we began a relationship with our environment, first in utero, commensurable with all the sensory and bio-chemical/hormonal connections, as well as right after birth, and the attendant sense of warmth and safety that we either had or different have. This was our welcome to human life after deplanning experience that most of us don't remember.

So rocket science answer to first question of relational wisdom I practice is; warmth and safety, this is the remedy for the degrees of coldness and fear we may have experienced (see Joseph Chilton Pierce's book "The Magical Child" for an excellent and at times scary look at birth practiced in America in the prior century). Next I practice a desire to understand, not in my own terms, but as a good Margret Meade type of cultural anthropologist would, seek to be free as much as possible from my own cultural biases, and seek to understand the “other” on their own terms. I am transparent with my own thoughts and feelings and this facilitates a transparency from others. Acceptance of others and deep empathy encourages others to explore and express themselves. I'm certainly not pretending that I'm able to convey, practice or transmit these qualities all the time, at times what I convey is the opposite, but my core values and aspirations are to set my intentions to be as loving, clear, and honest as I'm capable of.

The human body and soul are wired for growth, learning, expression, and integration, this is what has been optimally selected for fitness, survival and propagation. This wiring in the psyche is the move toward wholeness, and every nuance of the human soul is geared in this direction. Dreams, symbols, art, science, political structures and religion are creations of our individual and collective need to be whole, happy, and fulfilled in our human form.

Unfortunately, we have gotten a little side tracked in this most conscious direction, so there are shamans, scientists, artists and seers of all sorts that have day jobs attempting to realign our errant space craft.

Research has validated the outcomes that quality therapeutic relational experience helps people become more effective and integrated with less neurotic symptoms, feeling more healthy and more the person they which to be, with more self-awareness and confidence. This leads to greater awareness of others and the ability to form quality relationships. Openness to experience is greater and one is less likely to repress or deny what one is experiencing. This person has less stress in life and they are able to recover from stress with higher resiliency. A maturity and integrity is observed by friends and loved ones as well as an ability to meet situations more creatively.

 

"I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger: I like you just the way you are." Mister Rogers