Adolescence #2

                                                       Adolescence #2

              

                    “Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

                                                                                                  Albert Einstein

 

I'll indulge myself and give an autobiographical run through of some of my adolescence to highlight some points. My adolescence, like everyone else, was fraught with what seemed like epically high highs and epically low lows. I say “what seemed like,” because that is indicative of the developing adolescent brain, the immaturity to accurately assess and gauge one's subjective experience with much objectivity is sorely lacking. This is why it is unreasonable for parents and adults to expect that adolescents will think, perceive and feel like adults do, it's not going to happen.

Foremost in my adolescence was insecurity, masked in faked, affected, and pretentious Uber security and coolness. I struggled to fit in and yet didn't want to fit in, so everything that I was a part of i.e. sports, family, acting, academia, I tried to hold myself on the fringe and not be the card carrying party member. This gave me the false illusion that I was unique and different.

One of the highlights that was a game changer for me was, for some unknown reason, my dad encouraged me to take up the practice of meditation. At that time in the '70's in the San Francisco bay area Transcendental Meditation was up and coming, so I began what was to become a life long practice for me. I mention this because an essential part of helping teens is helping them to find something that they can grab onto and call their own. My dad was able to see something in me that related to the practice of meditation and he facilitated my connection to it. It is also noteworthy to mention that my dad never has had any interest in meditation, so this was purely my thing.

Other game changing, life saving protective factors that I had as a teen was music, theatre, sports, and an intellectual passion to learn (even though I had little interest in learning what was required in school). My early interest in psychology was fueled by me having a cool friend who's dad was a shrink, as well as my dad buying me a bunch of psychology books and getting me a subscription to Psychology Today. Even though I was playing out the role of family hero and struggled with identity and self esteem, these protective activities and interests I had played a huge part in me surviving, and I do mean surviving my adolescence. I had teachers throughout my school years that saw me and took the time to encourage me, they gave me something that I could say allowed me to believe in and to come to know myself.

My particular story is one in which I believe is unusually fortunate, I don't believe adolescents in general have near as much help as I did, and they suffer as a result.

I'll save some of the horror stories for another time, use your imagination for the time being.