Polarity

                                                         Polarity

                              

                                                  “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
                                                      and right doing there is a field.
                                                        I'll meet you there.

                                              When the soul lies down in that grass
                                                the world is too full to talk about.”

                                                                               Rumi

We live in a world today that is full of polarity. The news, Facebook, Twitter, etc. are engines and torrents of spinning polarity machines, frothing up the collective waters like a fisherman chumming the waters for sharks. Multiple factions about multiple issues battle it out every day hurling stones, judging, spinning their case for their side. This only creates more polarity. It makes people crazy, frenetic, and highly stressed. Even if your side “wins” it's not fulfilling, because there is such a backlash and a new battle ensues.

Even within a person there are multiple voices, thoughts, arguments that are often in conflict with one another. You don't have to be a multiple personality to experience this, just think of how much inner opposition you experience when you set an intention for something simple like loosing weight, quitting a bad habit, being more sociable etc. There will arise in you at least one opposing voice that will say “To hell with that!”

How is one to reconcile these inner and outer battles? How can we establish a detente with ourselves and others, and negotiate some middle ground? It has to come from something other than polarity, it has to come from a perspective that synthesizes what appears to be antagonistic, it is Hegel's concept of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis.

This third perspective is a non-dual perspective, it takes each polarity and sees it as 'right' but partial. When I'm working with clients who are battling some inner or outer us/them conflict I will have them take the other sides view point just as an exercise. For example if someone is struggling with drugs or alcohol I'll have them talk about all the positive aspects of their addiction. This sounds crazy, but people do drugs because they deliver some kind of pleasure (at least in the beginning).

Giving a client permission to examine this is a way of waving a white flag and stopping the ego's war of will power. The same thing can occur if you take the perspective of your “enemy.” Try and see how the confederate flag is a symbol of heritage for some, or how marriage is a sacred institution meant for a man and a woman for some. This is amazingly liberating and an essential feature of compassion.

When someone really pisses you off, and pushes your buttons, try and see how a part of you is exactly like that person and has done the same thing in another situation. This builds an integration within a person's psyche and personality, and the ego will not have it's hold on you, which is to be entrenched in one view and making others the enemy. A hallmark of enlightened consciousness is the ability to take multiple perspectives, even if you don't agree with them!