A Love Letter To All One

                                                 A love letter to ALL ONE

 

 

 

                 

 

 

                                                   

                                      None of us is as smart as all of us. ~Ken Blanchard

This is a short story about a place I worked that changed my life and the life of literally thousands of people. This is not an idyllic story by any means, but it is one full of hope, laughter, healing, and esprit de corps more so than I had ever experienced.

We were a group of mental health professionals (almost oxymoronic term) who went into people's homes (most the time invited), and worked with families, kids, dogs, turtles, neighbors, P.O.'s, shrinks, courts, well you get the picture. We worked in trio's,  with one professionally licensed clinician (me), and two qualified mental health professionals. We met weekly to staff each of our families intensively and to plan and provide them the best, most cost efficient, community based services possible. We worked with other systems like D.S.S., schools, shelters, recovery centers, coaches, well you get the picture, to coordinate wrap around services on a continuum of care. This approach was called Systems Of Care, it looked good on paper, but was keystone cops in practice, not because people weren't trying, but because all the systems were/are broken, including our own!

But what was special about our agency (I know every agency says this, but I really mean it, and I worked in many freaking  agencies!), were several things, for example; there was a very clear vision by our CEO, who started a small grass roots group dedicated to specific principals, values, and practices that were really practiced, certainly very imperfectly, but still with a lot of intention, reminders, and trainings around why and how we did what we did.

Our trio met with 3-4 other trios in a larger team once a week to provide peer support to our colleagues, and get support we need (the big team was called ALL ONE). I remember when I was being hired and told I would be a lead on the ALL ONE team, I thought to myself; “I must be in the right place! I was a burntout hippie that grew up in California during the 60's and 70's, so I have my share of cosmic out theredness.

 

The meetings we had with ALL ONE were something I ALWAYS looked forward to. For one thing, I had an audience/support group in which I could be my goofy, cranky, weird, funny, neurotic, loving self, not only that, but it was encouraged of everyone to be themselves! We actually went around and checked in with everyone and this became a vital part of tuning into my friends/colleagues to see how they were and to be able to be real about myself.

The other thing to mention vital to this story is, just like our CEO, the ALL ONE team had a leader with a clear vision that he shepherded with skills like Jesus, ok, I'm exaggerating, but he was really good! He was kind, funny, super intelligent, super experienced/skilled therapist/leader/mentor. His leadership inspired all of us to take leadership during ALL ONE meetings. This experience also had a profound healing on my family of origin issues, because it was a corrective experience of being part of a group/family that really cared about me, put up with me, and loved me! We paid a lot of attention to parallel process which is basically practicing what we were preaching to our families.

We worked from a model that was a family systems model, it's not a perfect model, none are, but it was open ended enough for me to be myself and bring whatever else I felt was good therapeutic care into play. One aspect of this model and back to our CEO, was that we practiced giving and receiving feedback. We received training in how to do this and it was absolutely a value that was practiced. I in particular latched onto this value, and my trio practiced giving and receiving feedback which made us better people, friends and professionals. We still regularly give and receive feedback from each other even though we've all moved on. The man, (my brother, partner in crime, war combat bro) that I started and ended with when the company was sold, bought, and went under (much like the Titanic), became a good friend and colleague. We drove each other crazy at times, just like brothers, but we were always there for each other.

There was also this CRAZY Jersey red headed, on fire funny chick, much younger than should be allowed. I remember, being fairly new and talking with her in the pod room (this was a general area with computers, coffee, kitchen, laundry area, and the dreaded copier!). A repairman had come in and was working on the copier, he had the full on look like Dan Akyroid with the butt crack and everything. Anyway, Jersey starts going into the monologue and voice of the serial killer from the movie “Silence Of The Lambs.” She is undaunted by the repairman or the look on my face. That was another time I knew I was in the right place.

I could easily write a book about that time (maybe I will), but as time marches on, and I'm sure not getting younger, I wanted to write this to help myself and others remember. Gratitude doesn't really begin to cover my feelings, but it's a start. People came and went, client's came and went, my mind and nerves often came and went, but the experience of this family who helped other families is one of my best. Thanks for putting me in the game coach!

Love,

zim

 

                                             

 

                           

Experience

                                            

           

 

 

                                                

 

 

               

 

                           "The Soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome ecstatic experience."

                                                                    Emily Dickinson

In order to have experience we have to have polarity, contrast, and difference. In order to experience love we must have a reference of hate or fear. People get locked into one side of a polarity and therein spells trouble.

An important goal in an awakening human being, one who is not living as a Zombie, robot, clone/droid, is to have complete and conscious experience, this is the fullness of being a human being and it is most pleasurable. This is one of the main draws of intense, thrill seeking extreme sports, but those people are seeking a very small window of complete experience. They will have the moment on the 60 foot wave or the feeling on top of Mt. Everest, but it's not something that can be sustained, certainly the memory lasts a life time, but what good does it serve in day to day life? I know people will strongly disagree with this but it's my perspective.

You could get the same effect by going into combat, there are a number of vets who say they never felt as alive as when they were in combat. My proposal is the slow and steady, smell the coffee, have a piece of pie approach to fullness. So my ideal prep routine for the physical body would be something like having a great work out/hike in the woods, massage, deep relaxing sauna, floatation tank, excellent meal with excellent company, excellent love making, and deep rejuvenating sleep. All this would/will facilitate you having complete experience, because all those rituals are a deepening process for your body and sensual experience to be optimally alive and aware.

For the mental/emotional side of the equation, would be the most positive, affirming, faithful, grateful, hopeful and compassionate thoughts which would lead to loving feelings in which you will feel mentally, emotionally, and psychologically safe enough to go deep and be authentic.

Both the physical and mental/emotional bodies would be activated, and resourced as fully as possibly in this routine, which would make available the heart chakra. But back to complete experience, because experience has this dualistic nature, we want to approach all our experience as conscious as possible, otherwise we will have our experience created for us. This is what Oscar Wilde means when he says; “Most people are other people.”

When you approach any experience in a conscious, open, curious, and present way, you are navigating True North toward complete experience. When you approach any experience mindlessly, with no intention, and robotically, you will have a truncated experience that will leave you empty and disappointed, thinking about how to get your needs met some other way. This is what the Buddha described as suffering.

A good place to begin exploring full experience is to practice self observation. This is a witnessing consciousness that is a meta, third person perspective. Instead of “I'm hungry and want ice cream,” it's “He's hungry and wants ice cream.” You will feel a kind of odd amusement and pleasant detachment. This shift from first to third person perspective, if practiced as if you truly are watching someone else, will give one an experience of a different sort entirely. You will see and experience the experiencer and the experienced as one and the same, they are a digital unity so to speak.

You will also feel/see the observer is not different from the observed. This is a very difficult perspective to maintain, you may have moments where you are watching yourself walk out to the car, open the door, slide into the seat, and then you forget that you are observing yourself, and you'll find yourself waaaaaay down the road and realized; “Oh, I was totally unconscious that whole time!” This will remind you to remember that you were going to observe yourself, and you'll begin again. It's kinda like teaching a puppy to pee on the newspaper, you have to keep taking him back to the paper over and over.....

 Take homes today are; 1) Experience depends upon polarity, duality, and contrast, 2) Being awake as a human being is to move toward complete experience, 3) Relaxing, energizing, moving, breathing fully, sensing deeply helps in awakening the physical body, as well as balanced diet and rest. 4) Focusing on positive thoughts and emotions engenders mental/emotional balance 5) With these centers highly activated and resourced, you will be able to contact the witnessing, 3^rd person, observing perspective. This will facilitate complete fulfilling experience, even if it's some kind of shit storm that you prefer not be happening.

 

 

 

 

 

              

 

Mental Strength Habits

                                          
                                            

                            "You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at."

                                                                     Tina Fey


Amy Morin is a psychotherapist who's written a book called “13 habits mentally strong people don't do,” but she also has advice on what those of us that care about intelligence and wisdom, should be doing. Here are nine things mentally strong people do every day.

1. They monitor their emotions.

Being “emotionally intelligent” is as important, and in some ways more important, for success in life than are other forms of intelligence. Morin says, mentally strong people are "acutely aware" of their emotions.

"They monitor their emotions throughout the day and recognize how their feelings influence their thoughts and behaviors," she says. "They know sometimes reaching their greatest potential requires them to behave contrary to how they feel."

2. They practice realistic optimism.

Being Pollyanna, happy face, have a nice day, “I'm great” all the time is delusional, but too much negativity is counterproductive.

Mentally strong people "understand that their thoughts aren't always true, and they strive to re- frame their negativity," Morin says. "They replace exaggeratedly negative thoughts with a more realistic inner monologue."

3. They solve problems.

To be solution focused is essential in worldly navigation, the problems are usually easily identifiable, what isn't are solutions. In management, someone had better be offering solutions vs. just harping on problems, offering solutions will carry you very far in a workplace.

4. They practice self-compassion.

Being imperfect is being human, not beating yourself up or driving yourself critically doesn't help in the long run. Morin says mentally strong people; “respond to their inner critic as if they were standing up to the schoolyard bully," she says. "They forgive themselves for mistakes and cheer themselves on as they work toward their goals."

5. They set healthy boundaries.

Boundaries are in large part learning how to say “NO.” In our people pleasing culture, this is often rare and it creates mixed messages, confusion and resentments. Morin says; “Mentally healthy people can establish healthy boundaries, however, by behaving assertively.”

"They accept full responsibility for how they think, feel, and behave," she says, "and they refuse to let other people dictate whether they're going to have a good day or a bad day."

6. They manage their time wisely.

Mentally strong people describe time as a finite resource, Morin says. That's why they try to use it in a meaningful way. "Rather than waste energy dwelling on the past or resenting other people for taking up their time, they focus on more productive activities," she says.

7. They strive to fulfill their purpose.

Joseph Campbell called this “Following your bliss.” This is understanding who you are and your overall mission, values, and “True North” direction in your life. I understand this as finding ways to optimally give your gifts, this is the source of true fulfillment.

8. They seek to grow stronger.

I know it gets old hearing the idea of challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities, but the alternative is viewing yourself as a victim, which gets you nowhere. "Mentally strong people view everyday challenges as opportunities to grow stronger," Morin says. Additionally, they never settle or consider themselves strong enough. There is always room for improvement.

"They know that just like physically strong people need to work out to stay in good shape, they need to keep working out their mental muscles to prevent atrophy," she says.

9. They monitor their progress.

This includes the ability and means to receive and respond to feedback about what's working and not working in any give circumstance or relationship, unless you factor in feedback, you are in a closed, stagnant system that will reach diminishing returns.

Doing whatever it takes to improve can help you reach your greatest potential. It starts with acknowledging your weaknesses and having a "no excuses" approach.

"Rather than make excuses for their mistakes or failures, they seek explanations that will help them perform better moving forward," Morin says.


For extra credit, I'll throw in these useless words that will dumb down your use of language and ideas, they are;

A) Stuff

B) Maybe

C) Honestly

D) Really

E) Amazing

To recap this stuff, maybe you should honestly never really use these less than amazing words!

Play

                                                                        Play

 

                         

                                              "Play is the highest form of research."
                                                                      Albert Einstein

Let's take a look at reality through the lens of play and gaming. If we see life as a game in which we are at play it is very liberating, much better than seeing it as work! As Christ encouraged us to; become as a child- innocent, curious, uninhibited, and playful. In Zen the Beginners Mind is a playful, childlike, not knowing, just seeing, hearing, sensing.

It has been said that a child's work is play, but this is bass akwards! Play is not work, it is not competitive, it is not goal oriented, it is purely spontaneous and unpremeditated. Sure, competitive, goal oriented games have playfulness involved, but I'm talking about pure play, which is play for it's own sake. Animals in the wild are not practicing hunting when they're playing with each other, at least they don't think they're practicing (they are in fact training instinctively for hunting, but at the time of their young play, they are just being in the moment and responding spontaneously).

If we take the story line of any give “serious” endeavor in our “civilized, serious, culture,” as the rules, philosophy, and guidelines of a game to be played, we would see politics, science, and religion very differently. I remember the musician Paul Winter was invited to play at the U.N. one afternoon. He had been spending time with his clarinet in the wild in proximity to wolves. Paul has an amazing ability to compose music that mimics animals such as whales, birds, and this time wolves.

Before he began to play he did a couple of sample howlings and invited all the United Nations diplomats from all over the world to give it their best shot and howl to the world! It was amazing to hear all these serious diplomats there to solve world problems playing like little children. I don't know if it helped international diplomacy, but I do know they started that meeting in a different state of mind!

Try a little playfulness today. Remember your childlike silly, curious, spontaneous, creative, powerful, embodied playfulness and try to bring that to bear in your interactions, transitions, and heaviness. Whatever your taking as sooooooo serious, probably isn't.


                    

 

 

                                         

Communion

                                                          Communion

 

 

                                                    

                                         
                                         
                                                                   “Imagine there's no countries,

                                                                     It isn't hard to do
                                                                     Nothing to kill or die for
                                                                    And no religion too
                                                                    Imagine all the people
                                                                    Living life in peace

                                                                   You may say that I'm a dreamer
                                                                    But I'm not the only one
                                                                   I hope someday you'll join us
                                                                   And the world will be as one”  

 

                                                                               John Lennon

Nature is an integral whole that is in communion with itself, a unity in diversity. As humans who have evolved the most intricate mechanism of inter-connectivity that is known in the universe (the human brain), we are acting out this agenda that nature has which is ultimate connectivity, communication and communion. This is playing out in our technology which is always a parallel process of our inner goals and intentions, whether we are conscious of them or not.

So we have clouds, super mac daddy data bases, internet, monetary systems, facebook, etc. which are all mega technologies that supposedly engenders connectivity and communication. But for the most part, humans are still extremely fragmented, isolated, and polarized, the exact opposite of a unitary communion. At the molecular level, our DNA is a kind of supercomputer plying it's trade through transmission, transportation, replication, transcription, and translation. This is how protein synthesis occurs which is the basis for life and the propagation of a species.

We are also in the same business of transmitting, transporting, replicating, etc. we are forever trying to say “I am here, see me, feel me, touch me...” It is a very deep need we have as humans. At the highest level of art, scientific discovery, social revolution, or athletic excellence, a person, team, or group makes a statement of “Watch this mommy!” and humanity turns it's head and really listens and sees what we consider as truly sublime. We are all striving for that kind of communication, and communion with our fellow travelers, and our divine nature on this journey.

Yet we endlessly compromise for a mediocre level of communication, and communion in our expressions. We imitate, and vandalize our soul with psychic graffiti without any attempt at an authentic expression, this devalues us and dumbs down the collective intelligence to a level of sheep. This is what Freud and Marx were referring to when they said “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” Today our opiated religion is consumerism, capitalism, and addiction to technologies that advertize a greater connectivity and fulfillment through some new app or video game.

There is actually a theory that our universe could be a simulation of some advanced intelligence and that we are merely pawns on the game board, much like the movie Matrix. At any rate, we should examine the game that we are playing and strive for the highest level of performance in our apprehension of the universe as one integral whole.

 

                            

            

              

Evolution

                                                           Evolution

                   

                    

"It is paradoxical, yet true, to say, that the more we know, the more ignorant we become in the absolute sense, for it is only through enlightenment that we become conscious of our limitations. Precisely one of the most gratifying results of intellectual evolution is the continuous opening up of new and greater prospects."

                                                                                        Nikola Tesla

Everything is evolving, whether it's species, ideas, society, or Donald Trump's hairdo. This is a way of saying everything is changing, but evolution is a process of adaptation to change, it's a way of describing how something seeks to survive, propagate, and grow itself into something better than what it was. Evolution doesn't necessarily mean things are getting better, there are ebbs and flows to evolution, it tinkers with things over vast periods of time till it comes up with a particular trait and niche to fit in to. This is true not just on a biological level, but on  bio-psycho-social-cultural-spiritual levels as well.
 

In the U.S. it is estimated that 46% of people don't believe in Darwinian evolution as opposed to 95% of the world scientific community attest to evolution as fact based on overwhelming evidence. This statistical discrepancy is overwhelming evidence of ignorance, but this ignorance is evolving whether or not people believe in it, science is something that doesn't require belief!

Let me give a quick and dirty description of biological evolution and apply this to rude awakening; 1) Offspring look like their parents- even if it's someone's ideas, their art, or culture, the thing that comes from a particular matrix resembles the matrix it comes from, 2) Offspring don't look exactly like their parents - there are new traits that randomly mutate into the gene pool-Even though there is obvious similarity, there is also difference (unless something is a clone or identical twin).

 

If we're talking about ideas, the next generation of students will have similarity to their teachers, musicians will give credit to who influenced them, but they will be different from those who influenced them (unless they're a jukebox cover band), 3) You have to be alive to have kids-This means in order to propagate, you have to survive, only those that survive will propagate. If you are a writer, you have to be alive to write, your ideas will only go so far if you're dead. Other's will take your ideas and make them their own, but your particular voice can only be heard in it's purest form if you are alive to speak, sing, or shout. You can hear a recording of someone dead, but it will be a canned, always the same, never organic expression of the present moment. This phenomenon is accentuated in the fact of dramatic value increase of an artist's work once they die.

4) You have to get a date - If you are trying to propagate, you have to get a date, there has to be a receptacle for your seed and genetic material. Now you could be inseminated in vitro (in a lab), but there is the seed and the test tube, that's a date so to speak. If you are an artist, you have to have someone see, hear, read, understand your art for the audience to be inseminated by your ideas. If you have no audience, you are artistically masturbating, and if that's all you do, your ideas will die. Mate selection spreads the properties of genetic material, so courtship and relationship are very important, whether it's on a biological, cultural, artistic, or spiritual level.

So reflect on your evolutionary process, are you living fully and expressing yourself as a conscious being? Are you propagating yourself in the highest way possible and leaving a legacy that will bring more light and love into the world? And are you able to get a date, a gig, a group, to connect, listen and interact in ways that engender conscious evolution? Carry the message and pay it forward!

 

 

                        

Serenity

                                                     Serenity

 

 

           

 

 

                                              “Nothing is so aggravating as calmness.”  

                                                                           Gandhi

“God grant me the serenity...” is a plea for a sane state of mind and heart, a prayer for acceptance, and the discernment that results in wisdom. Wisdom doesn't come cheap, fast, or easy, it's earned with the blood, sweat and tears of the soul. Serenity is not a state of security, it is a balls to the wall journey into the freedom to receive the unknown, something you're totally unfamiliar with. The ego's not real happy about that!

The wisdom that comes from serenity is one of insecurity and discomfort, but paradoxically, the peace of mind you get is tremendously safe, secure, and comforting, it's the peace that surpassith all our mental constructs. If you can be humble and stop thinking you really know jack shit, you will be filled with a grace that empowers and demands that you give it away, that's the only way you'll keep it!

Whatever you think you want from the Universe, give it, and you will receive it. Become an instrument and sing love, pardon, faith, humor, irreverence, tolerance, hope, light , and joy. What you are looking for is what is looking, stop seeking or seek only for a higher agenda than your ego and brain. Try to understand rather than be understood. Today's social media is all about; “See me, feel me, touch me, know me, be me,” see the common thread here?! I can't understand, hear or receive, if I don't stop talking, thinking, texting, posting, poking, friending, trolling, and just listen.

Let your limitations, concepts, fears, opinions, and attachments follow the lead of the Master, your spirit of guidance. He or She or We are One; the captain, pilot, conductor, and tube guide, might as well pull over and take a coffee break from your speeding in crazy, fast and furious town. When you feel the guidance, see the signs, hear a calling and sense the answers come, trust yourself and take a dip in the pool, no one or nothing can do that for you!