Wanna Be Dog

                                                                         

                                  Wanna be Dog 

                                                          “Dog is Love.”

                           

                                                             

I’ll admit it, I’ve wanted to be a dog for some time now. I believe inter-species understanding and communication is among the most important areas to help our species to evolve and survive. The reason for this is because we are mostly inept at being what we are, namely human.

The rest of nature is pretty much completely at ease and magnificent in being what they are, dogs are consummate examples. To be a dog is to be (sounds like Shakespeare), for they are completely at ease and unpretentious in their being. This is one of the main reasons dogs are so therapeutic to be around; which is they are so relaxed in who they are that it is very calming to be around them.

                                                           Symbiotic History

                                       

Humans and dogs have a long history of interdependent, symbiotic relationship. Approximately 13-14 thousand years ago certain wolves came closer to humans in a quest to extend their potential food source. Also certain humans took chances in allowing certain wolves to come closer, eventually offering them food. This eventuated in domestication and evolution of wolves into our modern versions of domesticated dog. Our interspecies mammalian synergy was a win-win from the beginning (although surely there were some bad days in which wolves killed humans or vice versa), still, dogs and humans were made for each other!

Wolves and dogs are pack animals with very hierarchical dominance and submission roles, sound familiar? Dogs and wolves are very loyal, ambitious, territorial, independent, smart, and feel and express emotions constantly, sound familiar?

Semi-domesticated wolves were able to keep watch for predators, help early humans hunt, defend territory, and eventually play and provide some emotional currency which is essential for mammalian well-being.

This give and take symbiosis is the stuff of ecological niches that have a mutuality of win-win, and makes both parties stronger, smarter, and better all the way round. So our relationship with dogs is an example of what we’re capable of in terms of healthy relationships. Unfortunately, we don’t do so well with our own species, but our relationships with dogs can certainly serve as a reference for loving and getting along.

                                                    Knowing Another

                                  

                “The difficult task of knowing another’s soul is not for young gentlemen, whose consciousness is chiefly made up of their own wishes.”

                                        (from the Book Middlemarch)

One of the recurrent themes in my writing is the idea of knowing another. This quote sums up nicely the difficulty, as well as the chief obstacle of knowing another, which is our own ego. Dogs are good examples of almost ego-less beings, they certainly have their boundaries, pride, and dignity, but generally, they don’t have the pretense that the human ego does and hence are so very much themselves, which makes them so lovable and attractive to us.

When you give the time and energy to really know another, whether it’s a dog, a person, a tree, a book, etc., you are literally experiencing ecstasy, which is to be outside yourself.

My own journey has been a journey of self-discovery through compensating for my lack of a sense of self. Because I didn’t have a strong sense of self, I explored and took on other perspectives from a very early age. I developed a vivid imagination as a child, threw myself into books, movies, fantasy of all kinds, took on an entertaining, heroic, intellectual, athletic, comedic role, and of course, I had my dogs.

One time I was tripping on mushrooms, and my black lab Sophie ‘knew’ I was in a different state. She approached me inquisitively and playfully, and I felt she was pulling me down and into her world, so I followed her down on all fours, face to face, being at her level, and entering how she thought, felt, and moved as a dog. She was delighted and a little taken aback by how open and willing I was to enter her world, but she quickly made the best of it as if her best canine friend had suddenly shown up ready for play!

We played chase, hide ‘n seek, tug of war, and pretend fighting, all with a reckless abandon that engendered the trust and encouragement of the other.

Play is the operative word here, for that is the predominant mode I would describe, as well as a loving connection. But when you’re truly, spontaneously playing with another, you automatically have a loving connection.

I felt truly part of a pack, even though we were only two, I could imagine belonging and being held in a larger pack. We both gave ourselves over to the other, over to the play, over to the spontaneity of the moment, and it was blissful! I felt Sophie was excited and honored to have me as a guest in her world and that she felt seen and contacted.

                                                          Therapy

            

                      

The word therapy comes from the Greek therapos which means “to care for.” So dogs, are naturally therapeutic because if there’s one thing they care about its caring! Dogs care about food, play, love, going for a walk, a ride, and chasing squirrels. They are present at the moment they are about to jump in water, get a treat, or fetch, and they are completely alive in their caring.

Dogs are attentive and present in the moment, and this, by definition, is caring. Caring is not figuring out what to do or say, or how many times I fluff your pillow, caring is being open and willing to hear, see, touch, and make contact with a person place or thing, and see it for what it is, and to respond appropriately. Buddhist’s define this asright action, right thought, right meditation, etc. 

Unfortunately, people trained in the caring, “helping” professions, like psychotherapy, are conditioned to believe that caring means; thinking, problem solving, analyzing, talking, doing, and efforting. All this does, a lot of time, is get in the way. People like Carl Rogers, and Rollo May wrote a lot about things like unconditional positive regard and the person-hood of the therapist being the most therapeutic.

For people that are able to communicate with animals and nature, they know there’s a whole lot more to contacting another than talking or thinking. Animal whisperers of all kinds talk about non-verbal communication.

“Animals communicate regularly through telepathy.  It is the most basic form of communication, an ability we are all born with.  As humans, we learn to rely on verbal communication and our telepathic skills are pushed aside and become rusty.  Like a muscle, unless used regularly, these skills become weak and inefficient.  Humans, given the proper mindset and training, have the ability to communicate telepathically with all species.”

                           

Being therapeutic is about learning to pay attention to the right cues. When we were early on in our evolution, not paying attention to the right cues could mean death, but as we became more and more ‘civilized’ we have essentially lost the ability to attend to the most basic kinds of cues both internally and externally. These cues include things like; knowing when we’re hungry, full, tired, horny, threatened, safe, connected, and understood.

There are constant cues given and received between and among all species, but humans have learned to not pay attention to relevant cues and to pay attention to all the wrong cues, like text messages and tweets.

                                                                                                               

                               

Dogs are able to attend to human cues that we are becoming alienated from, so they can attend to human emotion, fear, loneliness, depression, and anxiety, they can even smell disease!

                                     

Our beloved Cocker Spaniel Joey (R.I.P.), was a therapy dog who was my wing man during psychotherapy sessions. He would sit on the couch with the client and put his paw on their shoulder when they would cry, or look at me in a poignant moment to provide reassurance, humor, and comfort.

He brought the raw, vulnerable, and exquisite sense of being alive to the sessions, and no matter how difficult and tense people’s suffering was, he offered a simple, kind, and loving presence. I would definitely say he was more therapeutic than I was, but we were really a team.

I also took him to my team meetings at the office, and he sat in his own chair (sometimes on my lap), as a bonafide member of a 12 person/dog team. He helped break up the monotony and seriousness of the humans and would go under the table to remind us of important things like sniffing crotches, or begging for food. 

                                                         

       

                                             Dog Nature/Buddha Nature

In Buddhism, we are taught that everything has Buddha nature, which is the idea that the fundamental, essential quality of pure being is Buddha like, meaning it is enlightened, awake, transcendent and joyous.

Dogs embody Buddha nature, and we can learn from them if we are open. To allow yourself to see deeply into the eyes of a dog is to see the face of God, to see and feel the face of love. You can tell that they also see you, so there is a mutual recognition, and it is mysterious, because it is a completely different species, and yet there you both are in oneness! 

This is the meaning of the word Namaste, I recognize God within you, and I couldn’t recognize it if I weren’t the same divinity!

                                        

                                                                                                                                          

The Nature Of Nature

                                       The Nature of Nature

                             “Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.” 
                                       ― Gary Snyder

If we look deeply into what it is to be human, we will see that we are fundamentally part of nature. This idea has been used so much that we have become numb and have lost a visceral feeling of what it is to be part of nature, so I am intending to help us reconnect with that primal feeling which embeds us within a larger ecological, whole system.

So the first step is to realize we are complete individual organisms, but also incomplete parts of larger organisms or systems. Just as neutrinos, quarks, protons, neutrons, electrons, atoms, molecules, cells, organs, and tissues are complete wholes at their own discrete level, but are also incomplete parts of larger wholes/systems within our own body.

At the most basic level, the stuff that we are made of is the same stuff that everything else is made of, that is to say the elements from the periodic table. We are organic life, but we also are made of inorganic elements that come from stars, this includes; hydrogen, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, silver, gold, etc.

Not all organic compounds are created by living organisms, and living organisms do not only leave behind organic material. A clam's shell, for example, while biotic, does not contain much organic carbon, so may not be considered organic matter in this sense. Conversely, urea is one of many organic compounds that can be synthesized without any biological activity.

This is just to point out that life consists of organic and inorganic compounds. Basic structures in our system are created from various proteins, lipids, and carbohydrates, this is why it is very important when eating, to balance proteins, fats, and carbs proportionally every time you eat, this helps maintain good blood sugar levels which is essential to mental and emotional functioning (see the Zone diet).

                                                            First Steps

Humans are incredibly vulnerable in our early development. In utero, we have a long gestation period in which we become sensitized to every nuance of our mother’s bio-chemical, mental, emotional, and sensory experience. When we are born, we are a breaching whale, expelled from warm, watery, safe environment, to land, air, and complete dependency.

The emotional bonding that takes place during this time will set the tone, tempo, and direction for our life trajectory. We see throughout the mammal kingdom that the emotional bonding we have with others is in lockstep with survival, so this is our first gestalt we have of whether the world is a safe place in which we can trust and risk.

Barnacle geese chicks are often hatched a top 120 meter cliffs to avoid predators. They have to jump off before they can fly and literally bounce down the cliff to be able to find food with their parents. To take that first leap is an incredible risk and many will not survive it. Compare this with human infants beginning to crawl, walk, talk, eat solid food and be toilet trained. We have the same risk potential as the Barnacle geese (survival), but it is not so dramatic (or maybe it is), due to our civilized buffering we have layered onto ourselves.

        

Part of our civilized buffering has been to decrease infant mortality. The infant mortality rate of the world is 49.4/1000 according to the United Nations. That’s 5%, which is very low compared to what it used to be within the last 60 years, and of course in the animal kingdom, it’s more like 40%, so this is one of many benefits of being at the top of the food chain.

The substantial infant mortality decline over the 20th century has been attributed to economic growth, improved nutrition, and new sanitary measures, as well as advances in clinical medicine and access to care. But we should not forget that our essential human nature as a new born, is very fragile and dependent.

                                              Adolescence

In the animal kingdom, adolescence is basically non-existent. This means that once the period of bonding, dependency, play and power struggles with siblings (which is really practice for hunting/mating/protecting), is over, it’s time to prove oneself in the field of hunting.

The parents will have left or taken a back seat to observe and mentor slightly, the skills necessary for survival.

At the beginning of human adolescence, cognitive abilities are dominated by concrete thinking, ego-centrism, and impulsive behavior. In our culture, we are more and more dominated by concrete thinking and the ability to abstract, (which is to make reasonable and rational choices for the future), is greatly impaired. The ability of thinking in larger contexts, thinking of deeper roots, other than just the surface, thinking of broader ramifications and implications of issues, and connecting seemingly dissimilar fields, is becoming less and less valued and demonstrated.

I attribute this to our greater and greater engagement with technology, which is engendering in us an inability to read human emotional cues, and making us dumpsters of mostly useless data.  The ability to engage in abstract reasoning is not highly developed in most young teens, this means they are unable to understand the connection between their behavior and the consequences of their actions.

When cheetahs or wild hunting dogs are left by their parents in the wild, they must learn to cooperatively hunt or they will die. This is a brutal learning curve and initiation, but everything in their life has prepared them (as well as can be expected), for this moment. Many will not be able to pull it off, again the mortality rate is about 40%.

Each year from 1999 to 2006, the annual death rate for U.S. teenagers has averaged 49.5 deaths per 100,000 population (same percentage as world infant mortality- 5%). However, the risk of dying is not distributed evenly among all teenagers. Male teenagers are more likely to die than female teenagers at every single year of age from 12 to 19 years, and older teenagers are at higher risk of dying than younger teenagers. At age 12, for example, the death rate for males (20.2 deaths per 100,000) is 46 percent higher than the rate for females (13.8 deaths per 100,000). At age 19 the death rate for males (135.2 deaths per 100,000) is almost three times the rate for females (46.1 deaths per 100,000).

In primal cultures there are clearly defined rites of passage and initiations of boys ready to enter into adulthood. They go off with the elder males and undergo horrendous rituals, vision quests, scarification, circumcision, dancing, singing, mental/emotional/physical challenges, and nurturing by the male elders. The Maasai tribal elders cut a vein in their arms and pass around a vase in which their blood is collected, this is fed to the young male, and it is viewed symbolically as male milk, for it is only through the ‘feeding’ of the young male by the elders that he can be transformed into a man, ready to take his place among the tribe.

                                                      Home

Bower- 1. A shaded, leafy recess; an arbor. 2. A woman's private chamber in a medieval castle; a boudoir. 3. A rustic cottage; a country retreat.

Finding and making a home is another essential part of nature and human endeavor. A home certainly coincides with mating rituals, and the home is in many ways a nest for raising young and preparing them to leave the nest. In addition to the physical aspects of shelter, a home is an environment that anchors and centers us in our lives. Because we have so many single parents,latch key kids, broken homes, and houses divided, our sense of home is deteriorating.

Like everything else in our modern world, home is becoming a virtual concept, but the deep psychological need for home doesn’t go away just because we distract ourselves and pretend that we have and feel a sense of home. 

The Bower bird is a great example of how deeply embedded a sense of home is in nature. The male goes to great lengths to create a flashy bachelor pad that will impress the inspecting female. In addition to the physical nest, he collects flashy, colorful objects to ornament the nest and give it maximum sex appeal (does this sound familiar?).

                

These objects — usually different among each species — may include hundreds of shells, leaves, flowers, feathers, stones, berries, and even discarded plastic items, coins, nails, rifle shells, or pieces of glass. The males spend hours arranging this collection. Bowers within a species share a general form but do show significant variation, and the collection of objects reflects the biases of males of each species and its ability to procure items from the habitat, often stealing them from neighboring bowers. Several studies of different species have shown that colors of decorations males use on their bowers match the preferences of females.

Uy and collaborators have shown that mate-searching females commonly visit multiple bowers, often returning to the male several times, watching his elaborate courtship displays and inspecting the quality of the bower and tasting the paint the male has placed on the bower walls. Many females end up selecting the same male, and many under-performing males are left without copulation's. Females mated with top-mating males tend to return to the male the next year and search less.

This all points to our deep, instinctive, and psycho-sexual need to create a sense of home that invites visitation and copulation.

“Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.” 
                         ―James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

Wanna be Woman

                                                                  Wanna Be Woman

“Woman is the creator of the universe, the universe is her form; woman is the foundation of the world, she is the true form of the body.

In woman is the form of all things, of all that lives and moves in the world. There is no jewel rarer than woman, no condition superior to that of a woman.”                         

                                                From Shaktisangama Tantra:

                                                        

I’ll admit it, I’ve wanted to be a woman for some time now. Remember that feminine and masculine energy has little to do with gender, but still it’s fun to imagine being another gender.

We are only able to experience what we have contrast to in the relative field of polarity, so we must have a reference of sadness to experience joy, hate to experience love, and masculinity to experience feminine energy.

                                                  

In her most radiant form, a woman that is anchored in feminine energy is wanting to be seen and felt in her beauty and mystery. She is luminous and glowing, as in a pregnant woman who radiates the embodiment of life conceiving, sustaining, nurturing, and birthing.

The closest I’ve come to being pregnant and having a child is lying with my dog Joey on my chest and my belly. We called this bliss time, because we would both go into a deep altered state, merging into one another until we were one being, breathing, hearts beating, and dreaming in a loving unity.

Our unity was palpable, hearing his moans and cooing when he slept and shifted on my chest, his nose close to my face, breathing in his breath, sometimes he would awaken for a moment and give me a little kiss before his eyes rolled back and he drifted back off. The sense of complete safety, warmth, trust, security and love is what I can imagine a nursing mother to feel. 

                     

There is so much more happening in a radiant pregnant woman than simply hormonal messengers that increase oxygen to her skin. She is glowing with love, glowing with fulfillment, and glowing with purpose, she is full in the full sense of that word. And fullness is something essential to being a woman. A woman, grounded in feminine energy, seeks satiation whether it is through chocolate, shopping, emotional expression, mood, social connection or the intimacy that is the culmination of loving and being loved.

                                                                                                    

The feminine nature of Nature is most appropriate because it leaves nothing out in the fullness of expression and possibilities. There are infinite examples in nature of how female power, beauty, and horror display the full array of life and death. Whether it is the way a mother bison on the run defends her calf from wolves, the multigenerational sorority of sister elephants who all participate in nurturing, grieving, learning from the grandmothers, or a tiny jumping spider who mates and then eats her mate to provide nourishment for her developing eggs, the female in nature doesn’t hold back from her fullness.

Just as Nature doesn’t hold back in Her storms, Her cycles and seasons, or Her radiant beauty, so too a woman steeped in her feminine will not hold back in her fullness, especially when she feels safe, loved and supported.

She wants to be seen and taken, ravished, swept off her feet and transported by the masculine into higher and higher realms of fullness.

  

In most of the animal kingdom the male is the ornamented one that is flashing his plumage and presenting himself in colorful, stylistic display. But humans have reversed this dance, and it is the female who has adopted much of the ‘see me, feel me, touch me’ role. 

                                                                             

                                                                  Sovereignty

Like so many oppressed people, women have always just wanted to be their own sovereign selves. This means that no-one has power over them, no one owns them or tells them what to think, feel or do, with their bodies, minds, or souls. This is an obvious human right, but it is the most violated human right on the planet, and women have been some of the most intrusively colonized people on the planet. And feminine values and principles have been co-opted and devalued by the masculine patriarchy for thousands of years.

                          

It is remarkable that we are on the verge of electing our first female president. Symbolically, just like electing our first African American president, this is indicative of the evolution of consciousness that it is more inclusive and embracing a wider range of options than the excluding ignorance of intolerance. But as consciousness evolves, there is always a pushback from regressive ignorance, so N.C. enacts laws against LGBT, and Tenn. passes laws that allows therapists to refuse to treat LGBT. We have to continue to lean in and fight against all who would oppress and discriminate, this is not feminine!

Just like Mother Nature, the feminine is an inclusive approach that leaves nothing out, it embraces more and more, desiring to have the fullest range of experience. Masculine consciousness is more about discernment and whittling down to discriminate the essential from non-essential. The Feminine just wants to get all the pieces, players, and material on the table and relish the range of diversity.

                                                                                                   Feelings

                                                                                                               

Another strong desire and need for women who are shifted into their most feminine energy is the need to be held and supported. When a woman is in good relationship with masculine energy, she can relax her own masculine need to be goal oriented and she will relax and open herself to the emotional security that comes with feeling safe and secure.

Women are enculturated to be able to express the range of emotions, so they are much more comfortable and skilled in being able to cry, grieve, be vulnerable, as well as being spontaneous and joyous.

For a long time I was unable to cry and I knew this was psychologically unhealthy. I found my way into theatre at an early age and it was there that I learned the mechanics of being able to cry, which restored an open flow in my emotional system. Most men are emotionally constipated and have a back log of grief and sadness that they mask with anger, judgment, irritability, etc. which greatly contributes to the rates of heart attacks among men, as well as addiction.

                          

                                                                   Yin Energy

                                              

Everything in our experience has polarity, an atom has negative/positive polarity, just like a battery, there are X and Y chromosomes at the genetic level, and the hot sun casts a cool shadow. At every level, we find the dance of polarity, which enables us to have experience and emphasize one or another aspects of polarity, all the while trying to balance.

In Chinese philosophy, Yin is the feminine or negative principle and is characterized by dark, wet, cold, passivity, receptivity, and disintegration. Yang is the masculine or positive principle characterized by light, warmth, dryness, and activity. Together, these are the two opposing, yet complementary cosmic forces which creative energy divides and whose fusion in physical matter brings the phenomenal world into being.

The feminine seeks to fully engage, indulge, and be in proper relationship in the phenomenal world, while the masculine seeks to transcend phenomenon into emptiness and consciousness.

The Feminine seeks fullness and abhors emptiness whereas the masculine craves emptiness and freedom, which can be seen in our preoccupation with ejaculation, scoring a touchdown, getting a promotion, winning a war, climbing the highest mountain, anything that catapults us beyond limitation and boundaries and frees us into transcendence.

The feminine is not seeking freedom but love, her bliss is in surrender, but she will not surrender until she feels safe. Few men are able to relax, let down their defenses, and surrender because we are so identified with the active pursuit of freedom and transcendence. But once we actually attain it, we don’t know what to do with it, herein is where a Mentor is needed.

                                                                   SHAKTI

                                

                                                                             

In Hinduism, SHAKTI, meaning "power" or "empowerment," is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe. Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother'.

SHIVA, on the other hand symbolizes consciousness, the masculine principle.

SHAKTI (or Prakriti) means energy, power, movement, change, nature. It is the maternal principle – “the provider, abundance. In the human as well as in the animal kingdom the mother offers nourishment, warmth and security. There is no greater love than the love of a mother. The mother carries and nourishes the child in her own body. When it is born she provides it with mother’s milk and raises it at the sacrifice of her own self until it becomes self-reliant.”

SHIVA (or Purusha), on the other hand, is pure consciousness – “the unchanging, unlimited and unswayable observer. Purusha has no desires whatsoever; these are inherent only in Prakriti. Purusha is the empty, clear screen onto which Prakriti projects her colorful film.”

In the animal kingdom it is the female that is the clear, plain observer watching the colorful male trying to win and seduce her.

Only when Shiva and Shakti combine can action, movement and creation arise. This is where art, and spiritual evolution are ignited into manifestations of beauty, insight, wisdom, and love. Until energy is impregnated with consciousness it is ignorant, disordered, aimless and “blind”. Energy alone can produce nothing; consciousness bestows upon it content, form and direction. Conversely, consciousness without energy is dormant power, sleeping energy, and on its own is unable to be the cause of anything.

                                               

Your inner Shakti is your feminine life force energy, the essence of feminine and yin energy. From this essence comes forth wisdom, beauty, playful energy, spaciousness, ability, creativity, and power. Shakti is the Great Mother and matrix of creation and all manifestation. She is the power that weaves the universe and manifests in all forms, she is the perfection of wisdom, and the tangible manifestation of energy through the body and the senses.

Your inner Shiva is your unique masculine embodiment of awareness and consciousness. Known as "lord of the dance," Shiva is the essence of masculine and yang energy, the manifestation of presence, purpose, and skillful means. Shiva is the Great Father, with ultimate compassion for all beings. He represents transcendence, detachment, bliss, and the way to ultimate liberation.

Shiva is silent, and eternal, the consciousness that dwells beyond time and beyond death, in the eternal now. Your inner Shiva is that ever-present neutral awareness that compassionately witnesses all experience, and embraces all of life as expressions of the Divine.

Together in union, Shiva and Shakti merge and create the universe in all its manifestations. Experienced in each of us, this is a union of male and female energies, the direct experience of skillful means and wisdom.

You can open to this joyful dance between Shiva and Shakti, experienced as two aspects of yourself, and reflected in all living beings as pleasure, beauty, happiness, and aliveness.

Balanced and integrated, our inner Shiva and Shakti experience life as a dynamic whole, this is an inner marriage, a way of making love to yourself. We move forward with clear vision, yet we are willing to trust and flow with whatever life brings us.

As we become more whole, our need to look outside of ourselves for love falls away. We can experience the sweetness of this union of our inner masculine and inner feminine. From this place we can create more harmonious relationships and more joy in our lives.